Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Newbeginings -- Godsent!

Despite my best guesses, which for the past year have indicated I will NEVER EVER blog again, God showed me today that he had a different plan for me. So he sent me a big fat sign. Well maybe it wasn't a very obvious one, but it was quite evident it was a sign from him. Here's how I figured it out:

It all started when in I've written what I saw as one of the most honest declarations of unconditioned appreciation and love for a good friend of mine. Her reply, besides being unexpectedly slow, consisted in a flaky, if not demoralizing, "awww" (< that is but a summary of the actual reply which consisted of a couple of sentences.) The rest of this story matters less. What matters here is that since graduation I've been having a quarter-life crisis, which was cunningly avoiding my scrutiny. It was the (un)fortunate declaration that put the cunning bitch in the spotlight for me to see it in its splendor. I did not know what to do with my life, neither how to go about figuring it out.

As a result, I chose -more or less subconsciously- to do nothing for a while and see what falls from the sky. Needless to say that not much happened, and I was far from proactive in provoking any falling myself. So after doing much of nothing, reading a bunch-o-stuff, and stalking friends on the infamous facebook, the shit really hit fan. A bunch of friends got jobs, a bunch of others started grad school, and a few others figured out what they were doing with themselves. All of a sudden, not only that I was the one of the few still staying at my parents', I was also the only one that was all talk and no work. So I started feeling that butterflies in my stomach. Mybe you know that feeling before an exam, or when you feel your parents will yell at you for something stupid you KNOW you did but they don't. Well... feeling like that seemed quite magical, if not miraculous, to me.

When I am happy, first thing I do is check my email, to see if i can get EVEN HAPPIER. More often then not, I end up more miserable at the realization that I cant augment my initial happiness with an empty inbox.. but hey! the day this will happen will be quite something. I actually check my email EVERY TIME I feel different, just because it's there for me to do it. Like a happy-pill, to boost good-moods and bust the bad ones. Well them butterflies made me check my email half an hour ago only to find another empty inbox and that's when the divine revelation kicked in. The forces of nature or any other divinity there is out there allowed my penny to drop: all I needed was a mean to express myself and to stay true and accountable to myself about my current efforts to figure out my life. Since as of lately I find other people to be rather difficult to communicate with, I figured I am in one of those situations when nothing should be a secret anymore, and I should share as much as possible with as many as are ready to read.

SO! to conclude this almost boring (yet somewhat witty, if not straight out amusing) last post, I will tell everyone that I am starting a new blog. It will contain many (if not all) of the aspects of searching for a job here in Bucharest as a foreign college grad, and will be sprinkled with very VERY enticing articles and pragmatic, philosophical and amuzing entries.

Enjoy it and bookmark it!